Say Goodbye with Love….

At the end of a relationship there are only two directions we can go: we either grow in our ability to love, or we begin a gradual decline. Our challenge in starting over is to release our pain with forgiveness, understanding, gratitude, and trust. Saying goodbye in this way eventually leaves us feeling good about ourselves, our future, and our past. Although this is easy to say, it is more difficult to put into practice.

 John Gray, Ph. D.

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At On Common Ground, we strongly believe in the power of the parties to resolve their own disputes. Disputes are an integral and inevitable part of human society. One may either hand over the power to someone or a system to solve their problems or take the rein in their own hands and with the help of a neutral party, resolve their own disputes.

Mitsu Rajda
On Common Ground
A holistic approach to resolving conflicts

2 West Hanover Avenue, Ste # 203, Randolph, NJ 07869
(877) 744-3944   -  mrajda@oncommonground.biz

Mediation

Family & Divorce Mediation

Under the umbrella of Family law lie many areas. Divorce is a part of the same umbrella. Unfortunately and regrettably, Divorce actions are becoming more and more prevalent with a 50% rate in the first and 65% rate in the second marriages.
Within  Divorce come the issues of spousal and child supprot, child custody, parenting time, equitable distribution. Family law is much broader. It covers the areas like prenups, cohabitation, adoptions, elder issues, sibling issues, parents and teen issues, step/blended family issues and more.

According to the statistics, in New Jersey, less than 1% of cases actually reach trial. Most settle before reaching trial. The courts are backlogged. Settlng is encouraged. Attempt at settling is demanded by the judcial system. Most cases can and should be resolved outside the courtroom.  It is every litigant's dream that one day they will stand in front of the judge and tell them their own story...the story of betrayal, neglect, abuse or whatever issues that have been ailing them. Everybody wants their day in court. By chance even if that day comes,what are the chances that the judge will rule in their favor?  Why would anyone hand over the power to determine their future in a stranger's hands? Why would a parent hand over the right of determining how much time they will spend with their own children to a complete stranger?

In most cases, couples are unable to see eye to eye on many issues or are unable  to sit in the same room without antagonizing each other. Their attorneys lend their clients their skills, knowledge and their anger which results in an adversarial, "I win you lose" situation rather than a "win-win" situation in Mediation. At the conclusion of trial many couples are left with naught and they realize too late that had they settled earlier, they could have saved a lot and then some.

Issues related to children are extremely sensitive. The research proves that children whose parents settle amicably in Mediation are less likely to be traumatized by the divorce.  The research also shows that participants in a Mediated divorce are least likely to approach the court later. But in litigated cases, most of them return to the court arena some time in the future expending time, money and energy once again.

Step-parenting issues/blended family issues: In case of remarriage, it is difficult and sometimes, a constanct struggle to keep the blended family on par, to have a cordial relationship with ex-spouses, to help children maintain cordial relationships without jealousy with their half/step siblings, scheduling visits, family affairs, holidays and more. Some time parites need an objective person to guide them, to set rules of conduct. Mediation is the perfect solution in doing so without destroying relationships.

Other issues like parent-teen problems, elder care issues, estate administration etc. are also suitable for Mediation.

Self-determination, empowerment, freedom and creativity are the hallmarks of Mediation.  That is why we say, "Mediate before you Litigate."  However the parties can go into Mediation at ANY stage in their litigated divorce.

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